Misunderstandings
by nigou
Summary: After Lelouch’s death, Suzaku finds his diary, while cleaning out his room. SPOILERS for episodes 17-19 of R2.
1. Chapter 1

Misunderstandings  
By: ku.ro-puu26

Summary: After Lelouch's death, Suzaku finds his diary, while cleaning out his room.

--

Suzaku recalled those lavender eyes misty with a near-death state - the regret, the sorrow, and the relief in them, as Lelouch passed away. That gaze almost made Suzaku wish that hadn't been the one to shoot him. He sighed and decided that dwelling on the past wouldn't help him clear what was left of the belongings in his ex-best friend's room.

There were several boxes already piled on top of one another, full of the memories Suzaku wanted to leave behind with Lelouch's corpse. He didn't know what had possessed him when he _volunteered_ to clear out the late Brittannian prince's room. Was it guilt?

Regardless of the turmoil inside his mind, he opened one of the drawers in the desk, gradually emptying its contents into the box beside him - nothing particularly interesting, until he came across a black-bounded notebook with a lock. Obviously, it was a diary or a journal. He respected a person's privacy, but the owner of this book was currently deceased and curiosity got the better of him. Suzaku wanted, no, needed to know what Lelouch had been thinking in the past. He found the key nearby, almost as if Lelouch had planned on Suzaku discovering it.

Eagerly, he unlocked the journal and opened it to a random page.

_"August 15, 2003_

_Nunnally and I were sent off to Japan today. Father sold us to the Prime Minister of that country. I couldn't help but be wary of his son, Suzaku, who seemed a little mean--"_

Suzaku didn't deem the rest of the passage to be of any significance and turned to another page, delving further into Lelouch's past. This entry had teardrops littering the page.

_"May 26, 2011"_

He paused for a moment, remembering that it was the day Zero had killed Euphy, before continuing.

_"Today, I killed Euphemia, my precious, beloved half-sister. It was all because of a careless mistake I made. I hadn't realized at this point that my Geass eye had become permanent just as I spoke the words, 'I could even order you to kill all the Japanese.' How could I have so stupid as to even suggest such a morbid idea to her?"_

Wait a second, Lelouch had told him that he had purposely commanded the pink haired princess to massacre all the Japanese. That meant…

_"Due to the power of Geass, she did exactly as I told her to do. I realized that I had no other choice but to free her from the curse… and so I killed her. I brutally murdered a gentle and pure heart."_

That meant that… Euphy's death was unintentional. Lelouch really was a liar. Suzaku slammed his fist down onto the floor beneath him, tears streaming down his cheeks - all this time, Lelouch was hurting inside and no one, not even his so-called best friend, had noticed the pain and the burden he carried. Lelouch himself was a lie; the bastard.

Composing himself and sorting out his emotions, Suzaku wiped away the liquid pouring from his eyes and flipped through a series of pages, almost reaching the end of the notebook.

_"April 12, 2013_

_Suzaku… he betrayed me. He sold me out to my older brother, Schneizel. God, wasn't selling me out once enough? He deceived me then and had the nerve to do it again. My heart is aching so much at simply the thought of it. Why did he always end up breaking his promises? Saying that he would become Nunnally's knight when her title as a princess was restored, that he would protect her…"_

The account ended there and Suzaku could feel the guilt swelling up within him. He had completely forgotten about being Nunnally's knight. He was unbelievably frustrated with himself and Lelouch, who constantly kept things inside. Suzaku never knew what the other was thinking.

_"April 24, 2013_

_I have lost everything. Nunnally, Shirley, Rolo, Euphemia, Suzaku, the Black Knights, Kallen, even Sayoko. I can feel the end approaching. When that time comes, I will make sure that Father falls with me into the depths of hell."_

That's right… the Black Knights had turned in their leader to Schneizel for the restoration of Japan, which the Emperor hadn't granted. Suzaku flipped the page, hoping to read more about this mystifying person he had never known, but it was the last entry Lelouch had written. Suzaku remembered that only two days after this was written, the Emperor mysteriously died. Three days following that, Lelouch was caught and tried for the crimes he committed as Zero. Suzaku had voluntarily elected himself to be his former best friend's executioner.

The green-eyed male yearned to return to the past to fix all the mistakes he had made; he wished that he had taken more time to figure out the puzzle that was Lelouch Vi Brittannia.

_But alas, the past is the past._

_--_

After watching the last three episodes, I decided I wasn't satisfied with the fact that Suzaku still hadn't realized that Euphy's death was an accident, and thus, this fic was a result of it.

Also, I apologize for any mistakes in facts or spelling or grammar, as I was writing this at 3 AM... xD

I hope you guys enjoyed reading it. Please review! :D


	2. IMPORTANT NOTICE

**IMPORTANT NOTICE  
**

To all my lovely readers,

First of all, I'm truly sorry that I haven't gotten around to updating any of my multi-chapters stories. University has sapped my creative juices and my free time as well. Chances are that won't change this year either, since I'm entering my fourth year and things are going to be hectic.

This notice is also an announcement. I'm leaving . I'm not sure how many of you are aware of the group "Critics United," but they've been harassing and bullying authors around the site through reviews. They've left plenty of hurtful comments and I would hate to be on the receiving end of any of them, even though I've been spared so far. I've been a part of this community for 10 years and nothing like this has ever happened during my time here. For more information about this issue, check out wtffanfiction . tumblr post/24378135516/important-mass-deletion-of-stories-on-fanfiction-net (just take out the spaces).

Despite all this chaos, if you would still like to follow me, I have recently become a member of Tumblr (kuropuu . tumblr . com) and I will be posting my fanfics there from now on. You can also find me at LiveJournal (hatsuhikari . livejournal . com), and hopefully sooner or later, Archive Of Our Own.

Goodbye and thank you so much for your support over the years.

~ -puu26


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